I normally like to cook.  I used to be quite a good cook.  But the last year or so, I’ve hit a rut.  I’m so tired of cooking for just myself.  It’s so much work for just one person, there’s so much mess, and I have so many other things I’d rather be doing.  And it’s not like I could even pass of the work of cooking to someone else.  Well, I suppose I can.  It’s called the drive-thru.  And I’m trying to limit myself lest I end up needing to go through the Drive-Thru in my Hoveround.

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(You guys serious have no idea how much I have laughed at this crappy photochop over the last week.  Just expect morbidly obese Matt to start making more appearances on this blog.)

I could go on to tie in some big emotional sob story about how miserable it is eating alone and living alone and onmygosh when am I ever going to find anyone who loves me and will help me do the dishes I’m going to die from loneliness.  And on a normal day, that’s probably what I would do on a blog post.  But I’m just not in the mood.  Nevertheless, I’ve got a problem. I literally just fried a bag of sweet potato fries and put them on a plate with ketchup for dinner. 

Let me reiterate: I JUST ATE NOTHING BUT AN ENTIRE PLATE OF SWEET POTATO FRIES FOR DINNER. And yes, while sweet potatoes are technically a vegetable, and according to the people who set the rules for school lunches, so is ketchup, it just feels wrong. And, at the same time, so very right.

I still have some chicken enchiladas leftovers in the fridge.  I’ve already had them for four meals, and even though I still have half of a pan left, if I have to eat one bite more, I am fairly certain I will projectile vomit across the living room floor.  And much like my dog, I’m fairly certain that, rather than puking on the laminate floor, I’ll probably end up puking on the carpet too.

And it’s even worse that we’re in the middle of winter.  I try to eat seasonally, and as far as I’m concerned, the only vegetable in season in the winter is Rocky Road Ice Cream.  (What? Marshmallows used to be made from a plant called the Marsh Mallow.  It counts as a vegetable.  Shut up.)  I event tried going to Pinterest for ideas, but apparently, its users only ever pin baked goods, the Pioneer Woman’s Creamy Chicken Piccata recipe, and cute pancake ideas for Saturday breakfast.  (Oh, and don’t even get me started on Saturday breakfast.  The chances of me getting up and cooking a giant breakfast for myself on Saturday morning are about the same as winning the jackpot in the state lottery.  Sure, I’ll get up early, spend two hours working on a giant breakfast, and then have to spend most of the rest of the day cleaning up the mess from the breakfast that, by the time I finished making, it was nearly lunch. Great way to start off my weekend.)

So I need help. I know that there are a lot of you domestic stay-at-home mom types who read this blog. Even those of you who work often cook for families, so you have to at least pretend to make healthy food to avoid the guilt of having Shamu-sized children.  I need dinner ideas.  These dinners should be:

  • Heavy on the veggies—particularly ones that I can get this time of year (e.g., no tomatoes unless in a can)
  • Re-heatable
  • Fairly easy/quick
  • A little different than usual. I don’t think I could force one more spinach salad down my gullet.

I’m in serious trouble.  I looked over my planned menu for the next two weeks and realized that two of the three big dishes I’m going to make (I usually cook a big dinner one night and then eat it for the next four) are super-complicated and messy, and I just can’t do it.  I mean, seriously?  Who thinks, “Hm. I really like Indian Food.  I’ve never made them before, but I like it.  I think tonight, after 10 hours of work, I’m going to go through the four-hour process of making Samosas, including making the dough from scratch.  And then I’ll eat them for both lunch and dinner for the next seven days.  Because I’m sure I won’t get tired of eating spicy Indian food for 10 of my next 15 meals.”  I must have been out of my mind.  (Thanks again, Pinterest.)

Meal ideas.  Please!!!

  • Dubble A-ron

    Dude.  The wife gets ‘Cooking Light’ magazine and I shit thee not, she whips up some friggin’ masterpieces and, supposedly, they’re all “light”.  They don’t seem like it though.  Seriously.  I think you’d dig it.