[tkgiv1.JPG]Every single year.  Without fail.  Every single year, I have to answer this stupid question.  You mention that you always start putting up Christmas decorations on Halloween night because you don’t like Halloween, and there is a certain segment of the population that freaks right the hell out and asks (usually in a voice raised in both volume and pitch) "YOU CAN’T DO THAT!  WHAT ABOUT THANKSGIVING?"

Here’s the deal:  Thanksgiving is still there.  It’s not going anywhere.  And, because of Thanksgiving, I get two days off of work, so I even recognize it as a real holidays (unlike Valentine’s Day, St. Patrick’s Day, Martin Luther King Day, Pioneer Day, Halloween, Secretary’s Day, or any of those other stupid pseudo-holidays.)  I even LIKE Thanksgiving.  What’s not to like?  Great food, family (if you’re lucky), being thanksful.  All good stuff.  But I will NOT decorate for Thanksgiving.  I flat out refuse.

[tkgiv1+(4).JPG]For starters, it is impossible to decorate for Thanksgiving without looking like you stepped out of the pages of Modern Amish Living.  As far as I’m concerned, the phrase "Shabby Chic" should be removed from the lexicon forever and ever, as should the decoration style it describes.  If I wanted my apartment to look like my grandmother’s barn, I would have decorated it that way.  I, however like things classy and modern.  And since I don’t have anywhere to put a piccaninny doll on an antique rocking chair, and I refuse to decorate with dried corn stalks, porcelain tchotchkes of Native American stereotypes, pilgrim caricatures,  and stuffed turkey plushies, there’s not a lot left over.

Secondly, any holiday that embraces the colors of yellow, orange, and brown for decoration purposes is a holiday that I can’t allow into my decor.  My color scheme is celery green and robin’s egg blue, with Espresso colored furniture.  If I were to start putting orange, yellow, and brown on top of all of that, my house would look like it ate the 1970s, got decorational indigestion, and then had diarrhea across the living room.  I won’t do it.  It’s not going to happen.

Third: where, pray tell, would I store all of my Thanksgiving decorations when I’m not using them?  Should I rent a storage locker at $60 a month so I can have a place to keep my Indian Corn and wicker cornucopia?  Yeah.  That’s worth my money.  Also, spending money on these decorations in the first place?  You’ve got to be smoking crack.  Which, come to think of it, may be the only way that most Thanksgiving decorations would look good in the first place.

Fourth.  Let me tell you about what my standard Thanksgiving usually consists of.  1) Wake up at 8AM and take the dog for a walk in the rain.  2) At 11:30, hop in the car and drive to a restaurant in Seattle.  3) Eat a massive meal, sometimes by myself, sometimes with one other friend.  4) Drive Home.  5) Take a Nap.  6) Sit around the apartment bored out of my mind, playing video games, or watching movies.  7) Maybe talk on the phone with my family.  Maybe.  8) Take the dog for another walk or two…usually in the rain.  9) Start playing Christmas Carols in anticipation of the most wonderful holiday of all time, when I will get to go home and be with my wonderful family and take a week and half off of work.  See, I don’t have any family here, and it’s far too much effort to try and get home for just the Thanksgiving weekend, so I usually do Thanksgiving alone.  I don’t mind it.  In fact, I’m rather used to it.  But I’m grateful I get to go home for Christmas.

Fifth: I never have people in my house for Thanksgiving, so why not decorate the way I want to.

So, to summarize, Thanksgiving is a wonderful holiday in which we can reflect on the things for which we are grateful.  However, despite the wonderful meaning behind this holiday, the decorations are truly heinous.  I believe, as an ambassador of good taste (What?  Shut up.), that it is my duty to start a revolution.  We need to rename Christmas decorations to "Holiday Decorations."  That way, we can use them for Thanksgiving AND Christmas, thus removing the need for horrendous Thanksgiving décor.  Because, really, which would you rather be surrounded with when you eat your Thanksgiving dinner?

I love Thanksgiving, and I’m grateful for many, many things.  But one of the things I’m most grateful for is that I am able to put up my Christmas decorations for Thanksgiving, and I don’t have to decorate for Thanksgiving at all.

  • melissa

    I’m so with you!!! I’m a little behind you, but my Christmas decorations are going up this weekend. I love this and will probably link to it from my blog. If you’re not mad.

  • Not at all. Link away.