Sometimes it never ceases to amaze me the things that get advertised on television. Just recently, I saw a 2-minute commercial for a hair-dryer stand. This stand allows you to position your hair dryer wherever you’d like with a gooseneck, so you can use both of your hands to style your hair. Besides my doubts as to the effectiveness of this product, is it really a product that many people actually need? I mean, if you are really to the point where it’s so difficult to hold up a hair dryer and brush your hair at the same time, maybe it’s time to consider a shorter hair cut. Or a perm. Or the neo-nazi look. I’m just saying.

Perhaps my favorite commercial, though, is a commercial that airs regularly on TechTV (motto: where the geeks come to play.) This commercial extolls the virtues of a certain exercise program that will help you loose weight and gain muscle by doing “controlled cardiovascular movements: no complicated dance moves or jerky gyrations.” As a self-proclaimed techno-whore, I can’t help but wonder exactly who the person responsible for booking the ad-space was smoking when they paid for advertising space on TechTV. Anyone who has been around the kind of people who actually watch TechTV should know that we fall into one of two categories: We are either ultra-skinny runts who were picked on in Jr. High, and retreated to the safe-haven of Middle Earth of escape the onslaught, or we are 800-pound behemoths who have long-since given up on sculpting the perfect body. So take a hint: even parading half-naked men and women in front of the nerds will not encourage us to buy your exercise videos. If we wanted to exercise, we would have turned off the computer and gone out to play baseball with actual humans a long time ago.

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